Twenty-One Years Together

The first year I brought it home, I had just bought my first digital camera. Back then, it was about the same size as the camera, with clear tiger stripes and bright eyes. Watching it grow into a big, fluffy orange cat over the years, I sometimes hardly recognized it as the same kitten.Those 21 years weren’t always easy. Its health kept me on my toes, which is why I started paying more attention to check-ups and medical care. Looking back, a few moments really stand out.
At six years old, the construction noise nearby scared it so much that it almost stopped eating for days. I didn’t understand “cat stress” back then and assumed it would pass—but it didn’t. It developed hepatitis and cholecystitis and completely refused food. The vet gave a critical condition notice, saying the chances of recovery were about fifty-fifty.
Because of its personality, hospitalization would probably have made things worse, so I fed it at home with a syringe, mixing AD prescription canned food with ursodeoxycholic acid. Even when it vomited, I kept going. After more than a month, seeing it voluntarily eat again was such a relief.
Chronic kidney disease was discovered at 13 during pre-dental procedure blood tests, almost by accident, and there were no symptoms. From then on, it mainly took Renal Amino acid supplements, adding telmisartan later after high blood pressure showed up. Until the very end, its kidney markers barely changed, which I think was a big part of why it lived so long.
One regret: I should have taken care of its teeth earlier. By the time anesthesia was safe, only conservative treatment was possible. Untreated periodontal disease causes pain and can affect kidney health. Lesson learned: dental care is best done before middle age.
At 19, it developed urinary retention. At first, I thought it was a bladder infection or stones. But when it couldn’t lift its tail, we figured out it was cauda equina syndrome. It wasn’t a blockage; it had lost the sensation to urinate. Prednisone helped it recover. This made me realize just how important daily litter box checks are. Urinary retention can be life-threatening—catch it within 48 hours.
High blood pressure didn’t show up until around age 20, after its vision started changing. Stress during check-ups made it hard to tell if readings were normal or not. Eventually, enlarged pupils and slow light reflexes led to a diagnosis. By the time it started bumping into walls, some vision was already lost. If older cats develop consistently enlarged pupils, get them checked.
Diabetes was the last condition diagnosed. Like humans, it required insulin, but cats can sometimes recover fully. The last fructosamine test was almost normal, and the vet thought medication could stop in a couple of weeks. But it left at that stage. Heart and liver tests were fine. I still don’t know what went wrong.
Deaths rarely happen as peacefully as we imagine. The monitor showed it writhing slightly in discomfort at 5:30 a.m., quietly. By the time I woke at 7 a.m., it was barely alive. On the way to the vet, it passed away.
I had some mental preparation for this age, but having just received reassuring check-up results made its sudden departure hard to process. After more than twenty years together, there’s suddenly an empty space in the house that feels strange.
Later, I used an corner to “keep” it at home. Not to replace it, just to catch familiar little moments—napping in a corner, quietly following me around, like it used to. Even if it’s only in light and shadow, it’s still a presence.
These small moments keep traces of it alive in the house. Memory doesn’t disappear when someone’s gone. Every time I pass the projection, it quietly reminds me that it’s still here.